Dexter Iowa Community Site

Consider this quote from Abe Lincoln

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."

Another birthday rolls around this week, and in all honesty I’m not really giving it much thought. I remember being much more excited last year…40…yes…was looking forward to my 40^th year. I just knew it was going to be the best year ever! I had taken some big risks and made some life altering choices and just knew that 40 would be the year that I remembered for a long time.

It certainly has been a year I’ll remember, but not because I found that great wishing well full of happiness and merriment. No, 40 has turned out to be a real dud. I lost and found a job…got separated on my way to a divorce…had a vehicle given back to the bank and bought a new one…I’ve made some great choices and had my share of really dumb mistakes...discovered a wonderful friendship that promised to stand the test of time, and watched that same friendship broken and left lying in pieces….I’ve lost some good friends to God, and made some new ones…I’ve learned a lot about people, mostly that there are some who are really really good, and some who are really really not so nice…rode the roller coaster of life and found a guy at the end who was sick to his stomach and didn’t care much for the person he suddenly woke up and discovered he was.

No friends, (and I do look at every single one of you who takes the time to read my ramblings as friends), 40 has not been very kind to me. As I end this year of my life and round the corner to the next one I find that I don’t have many answers any more. It is as though somewhere along the line of being the person I thought I should be, I really missed out on being the person I really was. Maybe it’s all a part of growing up and learning the lessons about life…just keep moving…it doesn’t have to be forward as long as you’re moving.

So moving I will be doing soon, back into the house I loved so much, the place where I started this column from and since I’m not in a big rush, it’s given me lots of time to do some much needed improvements to the old home place. New windows, lots of new drywall and what seems like miles and miles of new wiring have taxed my body and my mind over the last month. I’ve been fortunate to have the help of some really great friends and would most definitely still be sitting in a gutted room with no windows if it hadn’t been for Mom and Gary. In a conversation I was having the other night with a dear friend we discussed the many “This old Dexter house” updates that I post daily on Facebook, and how much working on the house has been good therapy for me. It’s nice to finish a project and know at the end of it that I worked hard to see it all the way through, even though there are mornings when getting out of bed to go to work has been really hard.

That old house is certainly got its own sense of humor though. As soon as I tear into one project there seems to be another that pops up and needs done, as though the house is a small child at bedtime whom after having a drink and a bedtime story then comes creeping down the stairs because they need to use the bathroom. Once it is done that old house, which I’m here to tell you was certainly built way before standard lumber dimensions, will be completely rebuilt.

Rebuilding…kind of what I have to do to me as well. Oh sure, I see glimpses of the old me sometimes…Weez…that great guy who has it all together and is full of fun and laughter and the guy who knew what he wanted out of life…that old me…will be the foundation for the new me…well not exactly new…but rebuilt… for just like that old house I’m going to use this next year to rebuild who I am. I’m going to start today, with a simple plan.

I’m going to remember that life isn’t about winning and loosing. I’m going to learn to let things go, and to live every day as though there isn’t another one coming with the morning sunshine. I’m going to take chances and not sit on the sidelines anymore. I’m going to use honesty, trust and respect with those who I have in my life. I’m not going to dwell on the reasons I can’t do things, but challenge myself to do what I never thought possible. I’m going to travel, eat Clam Chowder and dip my toes in the ocean. I’m going to stand in the middle of a field at night and just be quiet and watch the stars. I’m going to continue to be a great Dad to my kids, and God and I are going to get a few things hashed out and I’m going to let him continue to lead this time.

Yes, I’m rebuilding…my house and myself. Both of them have a good foundation, a good start and with a little love and attention will get better and stand for years to come. Maybe you need to do a little rebuilding…or maybe you’ve been in my shoes before. Whatever your place, know that I sincerely appreciate every week that I get to spend with all of you, and I hope that you continue to be here for many more birthday weeks to come.

See you next week…remember, we’re all in this together.