Dexter Iowa Community Site

Consider this quote from Abe Lincoln

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."

It’s been a pretty quiet week around here, and I’ve come down with something. A hacking cough turned into a cough with fever, then loss of my voice (which my kids enjoyed I’m sure) and now it’s back to just a cough and this overwhelming need to nap in great quantities. I’m sure the cold weather has as much to do with it as anything, but with the help of Nyquil and a good heating pad I’m managing to survive.

For many of you this is the joyful holiday season full of shopping and parties and I know you’ve been sitting around thinking to yourself, just what in the world can I get that funny guy from Dexter that writes all those great columns I love to read so much! Well, in the interest of you, the reader and my dear children who keep telling me that they can’t get me anything because I don’t ever tell them what I need I’ve decided to let you peek into my world a little more than usual in sharing my list to Santa with you…

Dear St. Nicholas,

I’m not really going to try to pull the wool over your eyes by telling you how good I’ve been this year, because we both know the truth and there really isn’t any reason to sugar coat it. Although at this point I’d be pretty darn excited with a lump of coal, or a bushel or ten of corn to burn in my furnace, I decided that perhaps those years that I was extra good might just make up for this year, and you’d take pity on me.

I’d like a few things this year if you could swing it. First, I’d like some tin foil, so I can shape it into a hat and wear it so that the government can’t read my mind and control my thoughts. I know it may sound a little crazy but I’ve been told lately that I might just be a little to conformist.

I’d like one week without money worries. Just one. Not worrying about having to remember to fill up my car before I go to work in the morning, or juggling which bill to pay, or having to debate between salami and red ring bologna. That would be nice. And while I’m at it, it would be nice if I could share a little of that with a few other people I know.

I’d like a day off. Not just from work, but a day just to be a kid again. Wake up super early in the morning and go walking out in the fields and pastures just like when I was little. I’d like to sit next to the beginnings of Bear Creek and listen as the little trickle of water bounces against the rock dam I built. I’d like to lay under a big tree on a sunny day and watch big puffy clouds go rolling by.

If you could leave me an extra hour each day that would be great too. Just one hour for me, when I felt like I have the energy to actually accomplish something. An extra hour that is only for finishing up projects around the house, doing laundry or cleaning up for company.

I’d like an afternoon with a thousand of my closest friends and neighbors to just sit and enjoy ourselves listening to the angels sing. Or a Melody Makers DVD, whichever is easier for you to swing.

I’d also like the power to grant wishes. Not like a genie, I’ve been told that living in a bottle is bad for you, but to grant good wishes, like Glenda the good witch kind of wishes. Some days I get so angry with myself when all I can do is to say “I wish there was more I could do” to someone in need. I wish I could grant those wishes, to make things better, to make them right.

I’d like to move the East Coast closer to Iowa. I mean really…Pennsylvania? Do we really need that state all that much? Yeah, you know it’s completely selfish of me to ask for this, but there might be some added benefit in that maybe those people on the coast would understand the people who are the heart of this country a little better. Either way I see it as a win-win for us all.

Finally big guy, I’m gonna cut you some slack for failing to bring me Carrie Underwood last year, even after I baked those really awesome monster cookies that you love so much. I understand that she was in pretty high demand and completely understand when you told me that she got lost while signing autographs for the elves. You know how hard it is to control celebrities. So instead, maybe just a little hope, that all those I know, who are struggling right now, who have had a rough go, find hope, and peace and comfort this year. If you could swing just a little of that to spread around, I’d be most grateful.

I must be off, old friend. I know you have more important work ahead, and just between you and I, I still believe in you (and the Great Pumpkin). Stay warm, keep Rudolph’s nose well polished and I’ll leave the door unlocked.

See you next week…remember, we’re all in this together.